We have many choices when we are so mixed up the pieces don’t fit right.
- Whine and complain.
- Stay passive or silent.
- Blame someone else for the problem
- Wait for someone (enabler)to fix it for us
- Problem solve to do something different.
In the image below I gave the 2 year old a homemade puzzle made from a piece of card board. She thought it was cool, but did not have a clue as to what she should do with it.
- She had a knowledge deficit. And, that’s OK because she lacked experience as a two year old.
- If I, myself, had a knowledge deficit as a new parent or caregiver I might have been judgmental and have gotten upset with her for being”lazy or stupid”. Now that would not ever be appropriate. But, some ill-informed adult do react poorly thus needing some guidance.
- I could slap her around for not putting the puzzle together. I would NOT do that, either. From experience I know two year old kids have to be taught from good examples over time.
Unfortunately many adults have their own knowledge-deficits about realistic expectations for children.
- They may get angry. This poor knowledge base often leads to child abuse.
- As the adult/ parents maybe unwilling to help teach the child age appropriate problem solving s skills in a patient manner.
- Perhaps the adult or parent gets frustrated, not knowing how to change to or not willing to make some changes.
I spent time watching my grand daughter figure out the puzzle in the photo. She spent some time rearranging the pieces until she felt she had the shape she wanted.
The child’s version of the puzzle did not end up like the way I cut the pieces and arranged it. And that’s OK.
- There were no tears as she reshuffled the cardboard.
- She did not just sit passively and stare out of fear of failing.
- Nor did she throw the pieces all over in a fit because it was too hard.
Why did the puzzle come together happily ever after?
- I helped to problem solve by asking “what if” questions as she chose where to move the pieces -this way and that way. That is what parents are for; support.
- That is what leaders are for: to demonstrate and challenge each of us to try things in our lives in a new way. Much like what I did with the child.
To sum up; If you do not like the way something is is your life, you have choices.
- Whine and complain until you get your own way like a two year old might do. ( Come on now. You are too old to at like a 2 year old.)
- Sit on your butt and do nothing, helplessly. Getting depressed all alone.
- Make some changes by watching someone else’s successful lead.
- Rearrange what was not successful at first then look at the available pieces from a different angle.
I am Malika Bourne the No No-cents Nanna saying, “Make good choices.”
Now it’s your turn: What are some other positive changes your can make?
This post was edited from my original version posted on Bubblews. copyright all rights reserved Malika Bourne