Who wants to admit they had fallen prey to a lying conman? ‘Don’t look at me’ was my first thought when I realized the shocking truth about my best friend. [ The same shame applies to realizing how my loving home church turned into a toxic cult that I left 40 years ago. But that is another story. Click HERE later to read that series.]
It is a complicated world we live in. There is much to say about accepting the truth when you realize you have been flimflammed. It is embarrassing…but, we do ‘get-over-it”, in own ways. Or do we ‘get over it’ if or when the truth hits us smack dab in the face?
[Telling someone to ‘get over it’ is not useful advice. Professional therapy can help deal with trauma.]
Along the way on my journey of self-discovery and self-healing from a dangerous relationship with a self-acclaimed angelic channel, I learned some amazing facts about the art of illusion by psychic rip-offs, pyramid schemes, love-bombing by MLM’s, false prophets, cults leaders for profit, performers, magicians, and the narcissist. [Yes, they all have many patterns of behavior in common. You might want to grab a pen and paper or get ready to copy and paste (for your private personal use) anything that resonates with you, or you want to privately fill the blanks when I ask a question. This will not be graded nor judged. (Heavy sigh of relief.)]
Every living being, when the just the right button is pushed, is vulnerable to being of being taken advantage of in a vast degree of ways – and the culprit does not have to even be psychic. (I will give examples of that in this post. I’m sure your memory flashed on your own examples that you can now learn from.)
Why is that?
In this post series, I will explore a few of my own relatable weakness. [ We all have strengths and weaknesses] along with the underhanded ways ‘my psychic friend’ convinced me of her loved filled so-called psychic ability to get messages from ‘Her Angels’. Her version of a god and god’s love is a well-organized delusion.
[I have struggled to word this as nicely as possible yet to get my warnings across to readers who are desperate to connect the dots of why the feel like they are chasing their tails in a certain personal relationship. If you know what I am talking about- this No Non-cents Nanna blog series may help you get your thoughts together about your personal trauma. If the shoes fits- I encourage you to get professional counseling- not advice from a blogger.]
I know that you will be able to relate with at least one of my “Vulnerable points that I had “Written Across My Forehead”.
Hopefully, by reading this post, How ‘My Psychic ‘Friend’ Convinced Me of the ‘Truth’, in the future you may be able to foresee, or cut short when for your own safety and sanity you need to run the other way. [No contact]
[Disclaimer: This post is based on my own personal experience for the entertainment value and not intended to treat, diagnosis, nor given psychiatric or legal advice. I am introducing my first published novel(s ) for promotional purposes. The Secrets of the Unwritten Book and upcoming novel A World Disconnected. I have to tell you that this post does a self-promotion for my writings.]
Are you Stupid?
Looking at someone else’s ‘stupidity’ can make your own confession, “I was duped, too!” more palatable. Gulp…
I have felt shamefully stupid for a time- then I got therapy for the trauma.
By the way: calling someone ‘stupid’ shows either an example of gaslighting, or a lower-than-average emotional intelligence, EQ.
IQ, intelligence, has little to do with the harsh fact that you were targeted by a person who had been hunting for their next victim. You won’t be the first preyed upon and you won’t be the last to lose your dignity; money; years of your life; reputation, or sanity.
It will not matter if you are as smart as Rocket Scientist or not IF a person with narcissistic personality disorder targets you to refuel their next supply.
Yes, smart people can be conned. However, being armed with relationship skills and understanding how to set strong boundaries will help you see through the toxic person’s fake personality.
[Please note I do not have a degree in psychiatry. I do have 4 semesters of Nursing Psych under my RN cap. this post is not intended to treat or diagnose. It must be considered to be entertainment that encourages you to seek professional guidance when you are feeling stressed in your relationships or recovering from trauma.]
“Vulnerable” Written Across My Forehead
- Unresolved grief over a loved one who passed away
- Trauma secrets
- Good Christian/Religious Girl of any faith. (Women, boys and men as well.)
- Fill in the blank with your own strength and weakness. _______
Are any of those 3 points written on your forehead like a neon sign?
WARNING: this may be offensive to some.
- Chances are that if you attend a “Revival” or “Faith Healing meeting“, a TV show where the guest is a Psychic, someone is the audience will be suffering from unresolved grief or pain: A spouse died; a child is missing: you don’t know where grandpa hid his will… you don’t have to be psychic to know the odds that someone fits the psychic agenda.
- A psychic will ask a vague question to push a number of emotional buttons. GASP!
- In an upcoming post I will give example of vague statements given through the Angelic Channeling of my former friend and spiritual mentor fraud.
It is hard to give up the comforting feeling of getting a message from the dearly departed that initially bandages our emotional wounds. But that mystical experience may only cause more suffering eventually.
- The act of conveying communication from another dimension is a big fat lying fraud show was at your expense. (If you paid for it.) [At the end of this series I will post some links to examples we all have seen on TV or available to google.]
(2) Every creature on Earth will experience some event in their life, big or small, that affects the way they will react to a specific stimulus. That conditional can be reinforced. It can be predictable. In the case of a person with PTSD there will be flash backs triggered by things like a car back firing or a specific shade of color.
In addition to forming the basis of what would become behavioral psychology, the classical conditioning process remains important today for numerous applications, including behavioral modification and mental health treatment, including treating phobias, anxiety, and panic disorders. Pavlov’s Dog: Pavlov’s Theory of Classical Conditioning (verywellmind.com)
This Classical Conditioning even applies to a typical parenting challenge of Getting the kids to go to bed. You either have a routine that works consistently – or you don’t.
[Over the years I have written No Non-cents Nanna posts about behavior management in parenting children. Now that happens to be No Non-cents Nanna’s expertise.]
- Parents, ask yourself what ‘rituals’ signal that it is time for bed? (Yes, it is OK, even a good idea to think on your own that applies to your situation. BTW Rituals and rules are comforting because we are conditioned to know what to expect.)
I was told something important to know by an annoyingly persistently pushy 80-year-old next door neighbor. I was a slow learner. I had needed to learn about the tactics of manipulators a little late in life.
“I always get what I want. I have been told “NO” so many times in my life that I learned to go on to the next person. I keep trying until get what I want – someone will cave.”
This old woman, RC, was master at manipulating and fabricating excuses. And to think she only had an 8th- grade education. She could even talk her way out of traffic tickets and minors damage to other’s cars that she did accidentally. (She was a lousy driver. Maybe that had to do with the fact she only had vision in one eye.)
She seemed to get away with ‘murder’ all the time and still does, I hear. RC who shall remain anonymous to protect the innocent is still alive at 90-years-old and still pulling the same crap -, whining that she has no friends. My former best friend had befriended RC or -the other way around – when RC moved to the senior complex my soon-to -be new best buddy lived. RC introduced me to that Angelic messenger that I am exposing who shortly after that introduction dumped her to replace her with me. (Clue alert.)
This old lady, RC could not keep track of her lies- well, if the truth be told she did not care anymore what she lied about. She had a lifetime of practice with her routines that rarely failed – she was never jailed, that I know of. She had told so many lies about neighbors and relatives to promote her selfish whims so often that no one who lived in her apartment building believed anything she said.
[I think the only way chronic liars can keep track of lies is to journal what you told who. In a Tough Love group one mother told how her drug addicted daughter wrote he lies in her journals to keep track what she told who.
In my case, I wrote down what the Angels were telling their messenger. Later I used my journals to piece together my first novel The Secrets of the Unwritten Book.
One of the statements the messenger claimed was a warning the angels will trick you as a way of protecting you. I also quietly wrote down things about my friend that did not seem right to me. The fact is that my so-called ‘trusted friend’, could not be trusted. I had documented the discrepancies. I realized she was a liar, and I was in danger. I will reveal that later one on this blog.]
What happens when two pathological liars compete?
When RC told all the other senior citizens in her new building, “someone is listening to me from the register in the bathroom”. No one believed her. They all laughed, including my BFF, calling her paranoid, delusional, crazy, liar… [Stash away this ridiculous sounding paranoid event as it might be an eye-opening clue in an upcoming part of this series based on The Secrets of the Unwritten Book. You will have an exclusive behind the scenes view of my first novel and why I must get the sequel completed. See if you can find that clue before the character Anna figures it out – if she did or not.]
I saw, unfortunately, how RC would cry, whine; throw a loud hissy fit in a department store until the manager was called who simply gave-in just to shut her up. She was ruining the other customer’s shopping experience.
I was embarrassed to say the least, until the last time, I let her manipulate me into keeping her company on a shopping trip, was when I realized that when she distracted her victims by calling my name to come closer to her, she was shoplifting. Only RC called it ‘abundance’. (Hold this thought- it may come in handy when solving your own mystery.)
When my friend was telling me about that ‘delusion’ of RC she acted sympathetic towards RC’s complaints that someone was being mean her by taking down the inspiring handwritten quotes that RC posted on the Community bulletin board. As weeks went on, my friend’s ‘I’m so sorry” tune changed to “I will channel the angels for you to solve this mystery.”
(Oh my, the drama old ladies who lived in a densely occupied building can create! Boundary crossing is at the max.)
My ‘psychic friend’ told me something RC had told her and made her promise she would keep the embarrassing secret, but she thought I “should know anyway how RC bad talks about me”. (Sounds like fact or fiction gossip of Junior High girls, don’t you think?)
“RC said that when she was your next-door neighbor used your bathroom, she said it looked like a closet.”
I was a taken aback that RC had said this to my friend and she repeated it.
In my defense, I huffed back, “the dryer in the laundry room does not completely dry some things, so I hang up damp clothes on the curtain rod to dry. And RC had never ever used my bathroom.]
I felt violated. [ Yep, she tripped my trigger and got a reaction. My new rule is to respond- do not react.]
Is the Weather Forecaster Psychic?
A weather forecaster has studied weather patterns. It is all scientific. And they have more tools at their access than the old weathervane on the barn or the rain gain above the rain barrel.
- Is it a sign that this person on TV has control over the weather?
- Or is that weather reporter deliberately reporting earthquakes the Queen of Queens did not order? Maybe he is an antagonist [an evil green alien lifeform hell bent on destroying the Love- Light of the Creator] in my story? (Weird Sci-fi idea, right? Yes, this concept deeply agitated my soon-to-be ex-friend who thought she controlled the weather as a sign that the world would end. By year 3 of our toxic friendship rational thinking was getting more un-scientific by the day. This does not even sound rational, does it? Pleased bear with me. I am making a point. here. I am not making this stranger than fiction tale up. ]
And What About Those Pesky Ads?
Have you ever shopped online for- oh let’s say…a book about Psychic Phenomena? How about Angel Cards? Or fuzzy throw pillows? Then you feel like you are being stalked by advertisements for things you like? Creepy, isn’t it? How does your lap-top or cell phone app KNOW?
Let’s pretend you have shopped for those items. Then ask yourself, why is it that every time you open your digital device you see ads for plush pillows, magic cards, Angle figurines or the movies Michael or Phenomenon, both starring John Travolta.
- OMG! It’s a sign!
- No, Google is NOT psychic, and an ad is NOT a sign of god moving through all the Earth. The answer is all summed up in one word: ALGORTHYMS…
- ,,,and you did it to yourself.
Just like I used to wear the sign on my head that reads, VULNERABLE! Abuse me! (I imprinted the words all on my own that showed up in worry-wrinkles signs and symptoms and responses. I can guess you have an invisible tell-tale sign on your forehead as well do. That’s Life.)
When I wrote, “,,,and you did it to yourself,” I am not saying “you should be ashamed for being so stupid to fall for a con-ob.” That is the same unsolicited advice I had gotten as I was trying to figure out the fact that my best friend of 3-years was a toxic liar who hurt me in numerous ways. I had been traumatized. Heaping hot coals of shame/ guilt on your own head or someone’s else’s proverbial head will not fix you good enough to ‘get-on-with your life’ any more than the shaming ‘fixed’ me. I have learned by my mistakes is the upside.
While I did unknowingly set myself up to be used and abused – naively did not see it coming or happening, exactly, until my life was in-danger and I looked like the crazy woman when I called for help. (I will have some crazy specific examples later in this series.)
I Promised to Tell You the Truth
As promised, I will tell you the ‘magic tricks’ and how those tools of the trade could be used on some of my weak spots. I finally figured out and how I finally, put it all together why I was losing important documents, and my mind. However, I am not disclosing the name or whereabouts of my former ‘friend”- If it matters, I will let you figure that out on your own.
- What made me vulnerable to be taken advantage of by a woman who could tell me so much personal information?
- I have empathy. Now that is a valuable trait to have if you work in the medical field. Yes, I was an RN.
- I held secrets about being hurt and abused.
- I had escaped from a religious cult that I did not join on my own.
- I was giving the benefit of the doubt.
- I did not understand that someone I trusted could gaslight me.
- I naively believed that anyone who says, “Trust me, I love you”, is lying.
- As a Christian girl, I wrongly believed in self-sacrifice and to forgive and forget.
- And as a Christian woman, (helpmeet) I was obviously submissive and obedient – no matter what.
- I was used to ‘prophesy‘ from my church / cult leaders, which included the Biblical prophesies from Revelations.
- I was lonely with unresolved grief – and it showed.
- I was trained to have poor boundaries. I know now that I had very little idea about boundary setting.
- I was lonely in my empty nest.
Uh-oh! I used a phrase above those chronic liars might use. Hint: “I Promised to Tell You the Truth”.
Have you ever noticed that some people who tell tall tales will at times say, “OK, this time, I’m going to be honest”? or, “To tell truth.” This is not an iron clad fact, but… (File this in head.)
Here is another example from my experience that when my memory flashed-on, I knew I had been conned for three years by the friend I trusted and should not have.
When my older kids were teens, a rich kid would hang out in our neighborhood. Things happened that were ‘someone else’s fault not his’. One day, I get a call from his father, a hot shot lawyer who demanded I pay for his kids’ new bike. What?
Not only my son and daughter but other kids from our hood watched the kid wreck his bike. Then he said to my petite daughter, “Throw my bike as far as you can.” She did not want to do it. But he insisted, so say all the witnesses. Just how much damage to an already wrecked man’s bike could an 80-pound girl do by tipping it over?
I never put up with that kid’s sh!t. But I did kindly set boundaries.
The kid wanted his parents to buy him a new bike. Mom, the Pediatrician said, “No way. Earn the money to fix it yourself.” But, dad, the bully in the courtroom, wanted me, a small business owner to pay up or he threatened to sue me.
I guess this story does not really matter except to say that 5 years later his kid when the kid turned 18 he wrote a check forging daddy’s name to buy a new motorcycle. Daddy dearest decided to show some tough love by kidding the young man to the curb.
After a few days, of being cold and hungry and no one taking him in he shows up at my door. He ‘told me the truth’ about what happened. I gave him so sympathy. But, I do have the policy to not let someone go away hungry.
I suppose he felt grateful when he thanked me for always being strict but kind to him. He figured I knew most of the time that he lied often to nearly every one of his friends through school years. He offered his confession that he was indeed a ‘pathological liar’. Then next surprise was forth coming… File this in your self-defense bag of trick too. I say my life.
“I’m a pathological liar. I always tell when I am about to lie. You just have to pay attention.”
I am telling my story out of order, perhaps.
You might want to put this tip in our own self-defense tool kit then see if it makes sense or not.
Magic Tricks of the Trade
The petty anecdotes I wrote above did happen in real life. With the information I gave, can you see any good reason to forget those incidents? They seem like trivial dribble…. until… you feel like you have been chasing your tail. That is my whole point with my tattle-tell anecdotes. Did I succeed in making your head spin?
- Practice Illusion -Sleight of Hand/Distraction/ Overwhelm
- Feigning innocence
- Twisting words
- Hints that they are about to deceive
- Veiled threats
- I know a secret – promise not to tell.
- Love bombing
- Pathological liars
- Gossip and complaints that everyone is treating you wrong or are untrust worthy
- Have no real empathy/ Not capable of having any remorse
- Cancel Culture
…And things seem to be going to the ultimate plan to deceive you.
…note before ending part one…
Rather than give you any more anecdotes I will close this first part.
In part two I will given an introduction to what I have the copied and pasted excepts from The Secrets of the Unwritten Book by Malika Bourne- that is me aka No Non-cents Nanna, author and typo queen of this blog.
When I wove the words, from my notes about my experience with my former best friend, then published the novel with both our names, I had no clue that the printed words would be my clues to waking up to the fact I was being conned, drugged and violated.
Malika Bourne copy right. All rights reserved.
… to be continued….
List of Reference the Reveal the Magic Trick of the Trade
…work in progress…check back, please.
I do not own the rights to this video. Please click this direct link to watch on You Tube so you can let the copyright owners know what you thought of their presentation. https://youtu.be/qFyCJU3AFSA