.A friend told me she took an aging man to the store to buy disposable man briefs and diaper wipes. The poor old guy did not know what to do to keep clean after an accident in his underwear. He is not alone in being unprepared when they can not reach the bathroom.

I’ve been focusing on posts about parents discussing sensitive topics with kids. Switching generations and thinking about how you talk to Grandpa if he makes a mess in his trousers may be a good idea. I know you have your days full, Mom and Dad. The last thing you want to consider is how to diaper your parents.

The guide by Malika Bourne covered the subject of adult diapers and skin care for incontinent adults in one chapter of the Caregivers Guide. The expected publication date is March 2025.

 

Incontinence is a sensitive subject to discuss with an older adult who has prided themselves on their independence.

• Regardless of age, adults universally value preserving their dignity and autonomy.
• The first thing to consider is to encourage a gentleman to talk to his primary doctor is one of the first things to do. Help him make that phone call and schedule an appointment for professional help.

There’s a cute, socially acceptable side to potty training accidents with toddlers. But Grandpa has been potty trained for decades. It would be offensive if he felt you were comparing his accidents to being a baby. Most of us would want to be empathetic.

Unfortunately, not everyone is prepared to realize that dirty pants may not be because “He is too lazy to get up and go to the restroom.” I cannot tell you how often the adult male child thinks that is the problem.

It has caught my attention that some older men who live alone face challenges when dealing with loss of bladder or bowel control. Neighbor ladies complain about urine stinking up the Lazy-boy chairs in the community lounge. How can these women approach the neighbor man to stop using the lounge chairs as a toilet?

• Adults soiling themselves is not a pleasant experience. It differs from the comforting scent of a baby’s fresh pee and the soft feel of their delicate poop.
• No adult man who has worked hard all of his life wants to feel like a baby in diapers if he becomes incontinent.

 

• What I am suggesting is if you have a father, as embarrassing for them as it is, find the time to have ‘the talk’ about staying independent by using an incontinent product.

I know this is weird. ( It is like preparing a daughter for feminine hygiene products.)

• Granddad may not be willing to go to the store to try to figure out how to tell the clerk that he pees his pants.
• He may not want to do that. I would get a package of diapers for dear old Dad, just in case he has a ‘friend’ who needs diapers – not himself, you know. Be sensitive even if he throws that package at you.

Older women are familiar with dribbles and wear sanitary pads. We get used to it after decades of having periods.

• But, for many men, the diaper thing is too humiliating. I would emphasize that an undergarment can help Dad maintain his independence and dignity.

What do you think about having ‘the talk’ about incontinence with your aging parent?

 

This post was re-purposed from one of my publications on Bubblews.com. I think it is about time to bring up the subject once again. I am writing a caregiver guide that includes an in-depth overview that includes adult incontinence.

My upcoming Caregivers Guide to Care of Family Members with Mobility Impairment should be at the printers and ready for distribution in March 2025. Those interested in caring for adult family members should leave a comment. I will let you know when my guidebook is available.

 

Copyright Malika Bourne November 13, 2013

 

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