Developmental MIlestones Should Not Include Praying for the Death of Pastors Abandoned Ex-wives

In a previous post titled “Normal Child Growth & Development was “Demonic,” Said the Shepherds in The Walk of JRS Church of the Living Word” I promised to write and publish specific details on why that particular cult got child rearing all wrong.

Are ages and stages of transforming from infancy to toddlerhood and early childhood normal or are growth and developmental exploring, immature relations to disappointment, wet diapers, and hunger from a demonic origin?

Sorry for the interruption: No Non-cents Nanna blog on the Cult of the Living Word Cult is under a DDos attack. Someone doesn’t not the content concerning my history with the exposed cult.

This post is only in the rough draft form – but in light of the attack I am publishing this as is. You are a visitor and are in no danger – someone is deliberately trying to target this expose’. there are so many robotic hits designed to overload this site hoping to shut it down. The Edge of Eternity Networks, my site admin is experienced and expert tech support.

The authorities have already been contacted about the attack.

Welcome Church of the Living Word Cult survivors to my No Non-cents Nanna blog’s subsection that explores the harm that John Robert Stevens, his relatives, and one of his former mistresses deceitfully disrupted normal family life.

Innocent people got caught in a tangled web of deceit. How does a hometown church go from Sunday School to a cult?

And I also want to welcome curious escapees from other religious cults who are trying to figure out why the leaders want every ounce of devotion to him/ her over your gut instinct to nurture your children.

To Be Blunt

If you are here reading this blog on Child Growth and development, you know what I am talking about. And you simply need the validation that the preacher and religious cult leader was shoving disinformation down your throat in an attempt to keep you under his/ her power and control.

 

 

Let’s explore the basics of normal growth and development of children.

 

The experts all agree to very much the same hierarchy of needs beginning in infancy to the teen years regardless of the country of birth or the culture. But time and time again, I know of countless ‘preachers’ who want no part of this normalcy in their organization.

Fingers are pointed at “the breakdown of the family unit”.

If you look from a detached point of view you might see the patterns of words projecting something other than a cohesive structure with Daddy and Mommy supporting an infant through milestones like rolling over or taking their first steps.

In reality, under a cult leader’s thumb, Mommy and Daddy are too busy serving the King and Queen of the “Kingdom of God”, rather than nurturing their family unit.

That is all about a toxic leader’s dysfunctional need for power and control over other human beings.

 

Now I lay me down to sleep…
Are your CO detectors working?

During the 1970s when I was a new nurse graduate and young mother, I applied my pediatric, obstetrical, and newborn, early child growth and development, abnormal psych, and medical training in my home, at work, and in social networks very effectively – except when I was with other young mothers at my church group in a number of states.

My growing expertise actually began when I was a teenage babysitter. I wanted to earn my 25 cents to a half dollar an hour side hustle with grace and pride. So, I read American Girl Magazine and other books I found in the library.

 

 

To me, caring for any child was an enormous responsibility and I wanted to be the best childcare provider the Washington Junior High had to offer. I actually sat for teachers’ children and even one of the grade school principal’s “horrible boys” that only one other girl would sit for besides me.

I needed to earn money to buy fabric to make my own clothes that I quickly grew out of.

This short-term principal and his wife had some drinking issues and their sons had learned behavior issues. At 12 or 13, I was in no way prepared for hours alone with 3 and 4-year-old psychopaths. I am not exaggerating.

In order to survive, I had to learn professional Nanny or Aupair tricks of the trade. That challenge, which no teen sitter should ever have to deal with is the starting point for my passion and expertise in Behavior Management of Children.

It is too bad that I sucked with the Dysfunctional Behavior of Adults in Trusted Positions because it would have come in handy in dealing with these bad parents and drunk principals driving me home at 2 in the AM on a school night. My mom was getting mad at me for not being more assertive.

I was a tween, so I asserted my position with the truth as I knew it. “So what is the difference between getting home late on a school night because of special church services every night for a week and you and Dad standing around talking when we girls just want to get our homework done and go to bed? Huh?”

The Principal got canned for Moral turpitude That saved me from having to resign as their sitter to please my mom.

As I type out this true story without names, I realize that when my loving hometown church, Christian Tabernacle in Washinton, Iowa pastored by WJ Stevens was getting turned into a cult – how were any of the children and youth supposed to be responsible for the future outcome of our children born into the full-blown cult?

Reality takes your breath away more than my run-on sentences, doesn’t it?

Why did the same community in Washington, Iowa see the problems with a grade school principal, but not see the moral turpitude in the local pastor’s son when he’d be the guest speaker at church?

Tip: Keep a tally of repeated themes for more ah-ha! moments about The Walk.

 

 

Similar Key Elements:

  1. Trusted adults behaving badly due to addictions.
  2. Unprepared and immature you put in charge of positions over their heads.
  3. Parents who assume their children should know how to appropriately assert themselves in unsafe situations.
  4. Adults who see RED FLAGS fail to follow through appropriately as a parent to protect the position their child has fallen into.

 

What is expected of normal behavior in children?

I’ve known that answer for most of my life and I will share those in a checklist for you to review.

It is not that hard to grasp.

But what feels impossible to grasp is the part about trusted adults behaving badly.

And that is exactly the tangled web we cult survivors have found ourselves in as children and adults when Marilyn and Gary more fully instituted the Designated Shepherd Relationships after the death of JRS.

The part that I experienced was the offers, the pushing, and the shaming as they tried to force me to send my son, in particular to another ministry to raise. They wanted to “beat him into submission”. 

I adamantly refused for more than a few days when I needed rest. My late ex-husband was all for it. In fact, there were times, he tried to beat our son into submission with a board. I screamed and pulled my son away from my emotionless spouse. The neighbors heard me scream as well as my son’s wails.

Bill Greer had taught “beating the demons out of children” to the pastor and pastor’s wife in Waukegan where my ex and I had been sent to.

Beating Anyone Into Submission is Barbaric

Inflicting physical trauma on a child’s body is not an effective method of teaching a child what you want them to do unless you want to dominate them. Think about it. Were the little people nurtured with love when they displeased the ‘Door-Opener Apsotle or the Queen of the Kingdom?

Consistent Routine and Structure in a nurturing environment with consistent caregivers is what all infants, babies, toddlers, pre-K, kindergarten, grade school, tweens, teens and high school human being needs in order to thrive.

But, consistent nurturing was not what was valued at Shiloh or any other local body per leadership.

I am hoping to get some guest writers from other folks with more first-hand feedback than I can give on how John Robert, Stevens, Marilyn, and Gary Hargraves destroyed families with their toxic theology.

 

Let’s weigh in with the experts…

I give only partial quotes for educational purposes. These nurturing principles are not new-fangled ideas by nonChristians as controlling preachers claim.

These healthy habits have been practiced by loving parents for generations. Most people know that when a child is not nurtured they don’t thrive well. Yet, according to John the Christ in the Flesh, well, professionally accepted guidelines for child care and parenting come from some kind of made-up bad spirit with a biblical name.

 

www.cdc.gov › ncbddd › childdevelopment Child Development Basics | CDC

According to the CDC · Healthy development means that children of all abilities, including those with special healthcare needs,…are able to grow up where their needs are met in…
  1. a safe and loving home
  2. spending time with family―playing, singing, reading, and talking―are very important.

 

 

my.clevelandclinic.org › health › articlesChild Development: Developmental Milestones, Stages & Delays

Child development refers to how your child grows and changes over time. Experts divide child growth and development into four areas:

  1. Physical development refers to strength and physical skills.
  2. Cognitive development involves thinking and problem-solving.
  3. Language development refers to communication and understanding.
  4. Social-emotional development affects how children interact with others and process feelings.

What are Developmental Milestones?

Below I copied and pasted from the Cleveland Ohio Clinic website for educational purposes from published information to support my points. Every credible source agrees to the following even if a few words are rearranged. And most parents know this very same range of milestones.
Well-baby checks with a pedestrian are important for every child. A licensed doctor will ask the parent if the child has or has not reached these milestone goals. If not, the doctor will use his/ her training and expertise to assess the reasons why the goals are not being met and make recommendations to address any problems.
However, going to doctor’s appointments did not fit in with the Living Word agenda. IMO
What happened when parents noticed or did not notice that their child was appearing to have developmental delays? 
It had to be run by the designated shepherd, didn’t it?
Why?
I see that as a Red Flag problem. Do you? Why or why not?
Feel free to share your thought from our experience in the comments.

Developmental Milestones

  • Birth to 18 months: … children learn to identify familiar people, use basic utensils or respond to facial expressions. They may also learn a few words, and stand and walk on their own. .
  • 18 months to 3 years: Children may start playing pretend games, playing with other children or following two-part directions. They may say the names of familiar people, throw balls or run.
  • 3 to 5 years: … children start naming their likes and dislikes, learn to count to 10 and identify colors. They may recite nursery rhymes, know their name and address, and play on a playground on their own.
  • 5 to 12 years: In grade school, children grow their problem-solving skills and confidence. They may build close friendships, develop personal interests and increase their reading skills.
  • 12 to 18 years: Adolescents gain increasing levels of independence. They generally develop their own opinions, go through puberty and become interested in dating and sexuality.

 

From what I recall about KIngdom School assessment tests JRS was more interested in passing those tests. He would chuckle about the kids’ scores that were minimum expectations. Maybe someone with real teaching education and credentials can weigh in on this. I am speaking as a parent who had taught my children at home.

My son was bored at Kingdom School and I don’t blame him.

 

 

www.health.harvard.edu › blog › skills-children-needSkills children need to succeed in life — and getting …

 · According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child,
“It’s less about grades and extracurricular activities, and more about a core set of skills that help children navigate life’s challenges as they grow.
These skills all fall under what we call executive function skills that we use for self-regulation.

 

What is self-regulation?

 

institute.crisisprevention.com

Self-Regulation Strategies – Improve Self-Regulation

Help students learn adaptive ways to manage their feelings and use prosocial behaviors. Teach, Practice, and Reinforce Self-RegulationSkills

 

For informational purposes below in the block quotes, I added more snippets on self-regulation. You can read more from the resource at your leisure.

This is a good resource to look at and/ or apply the guide tools for each developmental stage.

Now that you have had a peak at the suggested guides, were you or your child ever introduced to that kind of activity in Kingdom School or not? Do you know why?

Activities Guide: Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children from Infancy to Adolescence

16-page guide (available for download, below), describes a variety of activities and games that represent age-appropriate ways for adults to support and strengthen various components of EF/SR in children.

 

  1. Types of Executive Function Skills | UnderstoodThe three areas of executive function are working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control.

    Executive function skills allow people to think before they act and consider consequences. Processing speed impacts how well people can use executive function skills.

     

  2. highscope.org › scaffolding-executive-function-andScaffolding Executive Function and Self-Regulation – HighScope

    According to experts, self-regulation is the “conscious control of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions”; it is the “ability to stop, think, then act” (McClelland & Tominey, 2016, p. 4). Self-regulation processes play an important role in how children learn to regulate behaviors.

     

  3. www.berkeleywellbeing.com › self-regulationSelf-Regulation: Definition, Skills, & Strategies – The ...Self-regulation plays a role in alcoholism, smoking, drug addiction, eating disorders, excessive spending, crime, emotional dysregulation, underachievement, procrastination, sexual behavior, and more. Psychologists also believe that self-regulation is a huge part of what the “self” is.

     

  4. journals.plos.org › plosone › articleExecutive function, self-regulation skills, behaviors, and …

    Nov 2, 2022 · Self-regulation skills refer to a broader set of competencies that integrate EF with emotion-oriented skills and knowledge such as effortful control and emotion-regulation to represent more complex regulatory behaviors in context [11, 12, 16].
  5. www.psychologytoday.com › us › basicsExecutive Function | Psychology TodayThese include self-awareness, inhibition, nonverbal working memory ( short-term memory related to sensory and spatial information), verbal working memory (short-term memory related to speech

 

 

 

TRIGGER WARNING:

Please do not read the next paragraph if you are not in a stable position to recall and reflect.

 

I would like to ask you to think of 1 or more situations at Shiloh where examples of self-regulation did or did not exist. 

  1. Was violent intercession good role modeling for children?
  2. Were sessions such as Grils Turn it Off with Marilyn good role molding of self-regulation for young girls?
  3. Was drinking leftover communion wine from the bottle after the communion trays were collected an example of self-regulation?
  4. Were new leaders after JRS, demonstrating self-regulation to the young people who wanted family relations but denied the privilege?
  5. What did or did not teach minors about loving, nurturing family life for a growing and developing child separating from parents?

 

SKIP to here

  1. positivepsychology.com › self-regulationWhat is Self-Regulation? (+95 Skills and Strategies)

    Sep 14, 2022 · Teaching self-regulation skills through modeling them yourself, providing opportunities to practice these skills, monitoring and reinforcing their progress, and coaching them on how, why, and when to use their skills; Providing a warm, safe, and responsive relationship in which adolescents are comfortable with making mistakes;
  2. www.verywellhealth.com › self-regulation-5225245Self-Regulation: Definition and Skills to Practice

    Jul 13, 2022 · Examples of self-regulation include: 3 Being able to handle intense emotions like frustration, disappointment, or embarrassment Being able to calm down after something exciting has happened Refocusing attention after finishing one task and starting another Controlling impulses Behaving appropriately …
  3. developingchild.harvard.edu › executive-functionExecutive Function & Self-Regulation – Center on the …

    Executive function and self-regulation skills depend on three types of brain function: working memory, mental flexibility, and self-control. These functions are highly interrelated, and the successful application of executive function skills requires them to operate in coordination with each other.
  4. www.verywellmind.com › how-you-can-practice-selfSelf-Regulation: How to Develop and Practice It – Verywell Mind

    May 5, 2023 · Self-regulation is the ability to control one’s behavior, emotions, and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals. 1 More specifically, emotional self-regulation refers to the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses—in other words, to think before acting.
    •  Arlin Cuncic

     

  5. developingchild.harvard.edu › resources › activitiesActivities Guide: Enhancing & Practicing Executive Function …

    Executive function and self-regulation (EF/SR) skills provide critical supports for learning and development, and while we aren’t born with these skillswe are born with the potential to develop

On a personal note:

My husband got moved back to Shiloh to work with the Dump Trucks. I tagged along with our 2 children who were 18 months and 3 1/2 years old.

I worked 2 jobs and got very little sleep. (Another story) 

I spent as much time with my children as I could – that was my priority.

But what I knew was best for my babies was not shared by my father-in-law who often prompted his son to, Press-in boy”. Apparently, my husband would take our children to Shiloh while I worked at the hospital.

Hold this thought because, in another post or 2, I reveal problems from Shiloh with the Public Health Department and Social Services. That you may not have been aware of how Shiloh nearly got shut down due to the action or lack of appropriate actions by a few couples with children who lived at Shiloh. Parenting or Childcare skill classes were not on the list of extracurricular activities

On several occasions, when I took my children grocery shopping at the grocers whom I had known all my life, my children started loudly singing intercession songs.

Do these words sound familiar?

“Jezebel, you mother harlot…” Coming out of preschool kids’ mouths may not have sounded like discernable words. But, when my children violently uttered “KILL the WHORE” near the cashier…OMG! I knew that my goodie 2-shoes Christian Girl image was shattered in my hometown.

 

So what do I care what other people think?

First of all, it is not anybody else’s place to tell me how I want to keep the reputation I always had in my hometown. I do not care what delusional position they have at the right hand of Christ in the Flesh when the Kingdom of God came in 1979.

 

As the Nursing Coordinator in the real world, of 3-day care centers in Washington County, I had ethical standards to meet. But, wait…there is more…

The other job that I was lucky to be recruited for was in the Labor and Delivery ward of the County Hospital. My supervisor was well-known and loved by all. She was of the opposing opinion to my daycare position. She had the belief that Day Care was Communistic. The supervisors of my 2 part-time jobs were on opposite sides of a political position in our community. I needed a paycheck to feed my children.

“Kill the Whore” over and over in the grocery store was not acceptable verbiage in this mother’s mind.

 

I really never did agree with the way John Stevens trashed his wife Martha for his full-time mistress who lived in the upper room with him. I was up in the upper room with John and Marilyn before the diverse from Martha. It was obvious that they were living together – don’t even try to talk me out of this. If you don’t already know this, JRS claimed that his wife Martha was a Nephelum Spirit or sometimes a Jezebel.

I was opposed to praying for other people’s deaths if JRS was not pleased with them. 

Come on Dude! Set the example of taking responsibility for your own actions and misdeeds such as adultery, and fraud.

 

JRS had ‘self-regulation’ issues with women. Allegedly, I suppose I have to say tho’ I believe it had been proven. It seems that when he got caught there tended to be a big crisis. One time, the crisis was a witch in CA churches. And for those who have not already figured it out about RED alerts at Shiloh when JRS was in battle…my theory is that Martha had been nagging him about being drunk. It was all a cover-up. A red herring to throw the little people off-track and conjure up more devotion for the narcissist.

Stimulation adrenalin in crowded theatre bonds the crowd to a cause. The same thing happens when cheerleaders get the energy going in a crossed football stadium.

What a piss poor example of handling relationships, don’t you think?

 

Moving right along…

 

www.who.int › activities › promoting-healthy-growth Promoting healthy growth and development – WHO

To grow and develop optimally, children need to receive nurturing care.
This means that they enjoy adequate nutrition and good health, feel safe and secure, and have opportunities for learning, starting from birth.
Exclusive breastfeeding, immunization, and timely care during illness all contribute to a child’s healthy growth and development.

How did that go at Shiloh?

Well in our home, there was no synchronized consistent parenting between the two of us. I was the disciplinarian. Keep in mind that To Discipline means to teach with consistency.
It is my word against his and he is deceased so he cannot make excuses to defend himself. But, I say that he painted his wife as the “bad cop” to our children with phrases like, “Don’t tell Mommy. She’ll be mad.”
If you hear that phrase, it is a RED FLAG that something is going on NOT in the child’s best interest.

www.childrenscolorado.org › what-children-needWhat Every Child Needs | Children’s Hospital Colorado

Security.
Kids must feel safe and sound, with their basic survival needs met: shelter, food, clothing, medical care, and protection from harm.
  • Stability. Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household, but when that’s not possible, it’s important to disrupt the child’s life as little as possible.
  • Consistency. No “good cop, bad cop.” Parents should synchronize their parenting and make sure important values stay consistent.
  • Emotional support. Parents’ words and actions should encourage kids’ trust, respect, self-esteem and, ultimately, independence.

 

 

 

 

www.cdc.gov › ncbddd › childdevelopmentLearn About Child Development | CDC

  • Assessing language and communication development in children;
  • Short sleep duration among children;
  • Interactive web tool to promote emotional well-being and resilience for children and teens;
  • .. .tools to support children’s wellbeing

 

 

 

www.choc.org › primary-care › ages-stagesChild Development: Milestones, Ages and Stages – Children’s …

Kids grow at their own pace.
There is a wide range of healthy shapes and sizes among children.
Genetics, gender, nutrition, physical activity, health problems, environment, and hormones all play a role in a child’s height and weight, and many of these can vary widely from family to family.

Child development describes the changes children experience as they grow older.

As children grow physically, they also develop in their knowledge, skills, and behavior.

Parents and other adults, such as grandparents and childcare providers, play important roles in children’s development.

 

www.ronitbaras.com › family-matters › parenting What Kids Really Need to Grow Up Healthy, Successful and Happy

· From 10-12 months of age, kids need to be in other kids’ company, so that they can learn, grow and evolve.
“Make sure you dedicate at least as much energy to their social life as you do to their academic performance.
Teach them social skills and give them opportunities to practice them.
Invite friends over and encourage them to go to friends.”
Say what?
Make sure you dedicate at least as much energy to their social life as you do to their academic performance.”
Did members of this cult who had children make sure their kids had a balanced life?

Feel free to leave comments on this from your experience.

  • child labor
  • Routines were not child-friendly

 

 

www.who.int › health-topics › child-health Promoting healthy growth and development – WHO

To grow and develop optimally, children need to receive nurturing care.

This means that they enjoy adequate nutrition and good health, feel safe and secure, and have opportunities for learning beginning from birth.

Exclusive breastfeeding, immunization, and timely care during illness all contribute to a child’s healthy growth and development.

 

 

www.britannica.com › science › child-development-processChild development | Definition, Stages, & Facts | Britannica

…child development, the growth of perceptual, emotional, intellectual, and behavioral capabilities and functioning during childhood.
The term childhood denotes that period in the human lifespan from the acquisition of language at one or two years to the onset of adolescence at 12 or 13 years.

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